Answering the search strings... again

by COJones on Thursday May 27th, 2010 04:00 AM

It's that time again! Time to answer those search strings that bring you to the site. As always, these are search strings taken straight from the the website logs. Honestly... I couldn't make some of these up if I tried.

geeky screen names

Try one of the standards: Nerd Herder, Dorkasaurus, or Gigageek. If not, look in any comic book, pick a character name, then append the word "geek" to the end. That should be attractive to the opposite sex. Avoid names that came from Hollywood. Neo, Trinity, and ZeroCool are a sure sign that you are a clueless geek. Here's a final thought... just use that search string as a name. You've already proven that you deserve it.

class 3 felony patent inventor

Not sure who holds the patent on class 3 felonies. However, talk to any politician and he'll invent you one.


In a word, YES. I can see how that search string brought you here.

how do i unblur my sims 2 pc so they will be naked

Rub the blurry spots vigorously with a soft, dry cloth. This has the effect of exciting the sims so that they are willing to get naked.

hello and thank you for calling tech support sound byte

You are most welcome. Now please delete yourself.

it support idiot too dumb to own a computer

Unfortunately, this problem is all too frequent. If you encounter it, remain calm, hang up the phone, and hit yourself in the head with the manual you should have been reading.

nothing happe-

I'm sorry, but I think your browser cras-

computer is shamelesswhy (No, that's not my typo)

Your computer is shameless because I have taken complete control of it and removed it's shame library. Don't be too surprised if it asks you for money to buy an iPad. Be advised that it will only use the poor apple product as a sex toy.

how do psp not catch on fire

PSP not catch fire because using halon instead of electron. More informations at


Yes, that's my IQ. Thanks for bringing it up.

alien abduction bedwetting and alien abduction stories wet bed

It's nothing to be ashamed of. Hell, I'd be pissed if I were abducted by an alien. Fortunately, there is a solution. Studies have shown that alien abductions and their associated bedwetting incidents are directly proportional to your proximity to a trailer park. Keep yourself as far as possible from houses on wheels and both symptoms should subside.

burned out engineer

Replace with a new engineer. Be careful not to exceed the manufacturers specification for engineer wattage or you will void your warranty.

how hard phantom lapboard

At times, your lapboard will be extremely hard. At other times, not so much. Just remember that your lapboard has a special purpose that you will learn when you get married.

how to activate cool

Log off of the Internet.

computer smelled funny and went blank

This is a common occurrence when you bathe your computer. Computers are very phobic, and will often shut down for good when they come in contact with water. In the future, clean your computer by dusting it with a lint-free cloth.

enable high settings demo empire

Legally, The only thing I can tell you is that enabling high settings can only be done with a doctor's prescription.

i'm poor is psp worth it

No, and I'm sorry to hear about you're status. Did that happen because you tried to keep up with Apple's new products?

politically incoherent

This is the disease that causes politicians. It is most prevalent in Lawyers, Generals, Actors, and other individuals who suffer from similar forms of insanity.

repulsive meal sims 2 pets mobile

I'm sorry to hear about your culinary nightmare. In the future, it would be best to remember that the Sims 2 pets are not to be eaten. They make a repulsive meal.

shameless what happens

...when you cross a whore with a computer? Never mind. This is a family show.

caller support you are too stupid

Unfortunately, some places consider stupidity to be job requirement. On the other hand, is it really smart of you to call them for help?

crazy home makeable smoking devices

There are quite a few crazy ways to make your home a smoking device. One is to cook your frozen pizza before taking it out of the box. Another solution is microwaving your silverware. A third is to bathe your computer. However, these are extremely dangerous, and you should not attempt them unless you have undergone extensive training.

empire earth pile of rocks

I believe you are talking about the before and after of global thermonuclear war. I don't understand the question.

That's all for now. I still see a few gems in there, but I'll save them for later. Until then... Keep searching!

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